Something to help pass the time....

Are you bored? I can help. Remember when I told you about my friend Wheeks who is working with her husband in Myanmar.  Well, I told you a lot about her. And if I had to guess, I'd say like 12 of you read the entire post and the rest of you skimmed it.  I understand. I don't read your long posts either.*

Anyway, Wheeks posted this picture on her blog and I had to share it:



Anyone want soft-shell crab Pringles to go with their sammy for lunch? 

Seriously. I mean it. You want to know Wheeks. She'd comment on my Buttons blog but she lives in Myanmar and the government blocks access to blogspot blogs (she can read it because she beats the system but commenting is difficult) You'd know these things if you read her blog.

Since only 12 of you will listen to me, I'll make it easy for the rest of you:

• Here is a heartwarming post
• And here is one to break your heart

Now you have something read while you're eating your sammy for lunch, grateful that the vending machine at work doesn't' dispense seafood-flavored Pringles. 

*kidding. Kinda

Sunday Nights...

Every Sunday night around dinnertime it happens.... My chest grows tight, I start to panic and breathe heavily, and then eventually I cry. Sometimes it's quick and other times it lasts for hours. The only thing consistent is that it happens every Sunday night.

But I have someone who takes care of me. He wipes my tears and hands me a cat (because that always makes me feel better). He tells me to breathe slowly and deeply and asks what I need. He makes me dinner (macaroni & cheese and peas tonight. I'm 4) and tells me to watch a "program" (which always is a show where someone solves a crime). And he sits with me and helps me get my mind off things (Tonight: Friends Season 1, Disc 4 Episodes 1&2) until I'm okay.

(I am aware I have given no explanation for the panic attack Sundays. Believe me, if I could explain I would. I'd venture to say it's a result of 4+ years of grief plus the knowledge that every Monday I walk into a place that has been very unhealthy for me. It just started happening this year. And it's a good time. Every Sunday...)

The one where she would've turned 52....

I'd give anything to celebrate with you today.

Miss you mommy

Thankfulness

There's so much to be thankful for: Health, a warm home, my friends and family & all the kitties in the world- I could go on and on with so many things...

But today, on this holiday- a hard holiday for our family- as I smell "Fall Festival" candles burning throughout the house, I am thankful for one thing the most: The music that is drifting out from underneath our spare bedroom door.....

I don't really talk about it much, but David & I are a statistic. David is one of 15.7 million or 10.2% of people in our country who are unemployed. And he has been for 15 months.  And it's been hard- really hard. Hard because we've been more strapped financially yes (thank God we had expenses we cut back on immediately- like my budget for cupcakes- and for unemployment income), but mostly hard emotionally. Hard on both of us, but David especially. Guess why- all of your reasons would be right. And I struggle with knowing how to support him...

But wait... isn't this supposed to be about thankfulness?

I met David at music school. I married him knowing our lives would always been cluttered with music equipment, more computer monitors than anyone should ever have and a music collection to rival the Library of Congress. (Don't tell him, but this is why I like him) But the music stopped awhile ago... probably when he was taking care of me, getting me out of bed each morning and telling me the pain would lessen eventually. He literally stopped his life to help me get mine back.

But amidst the pain and disappointment of our situation right now, the music has started again.....and as I've heard the new melodies he's come up with, my eyes have filled with tears. Yes, because the new songs are so beautiful, but also because I'm so proud. I'm so happy. And so thankful that these sounds are coming out from underneath the spare bedroom door, once again!

 

Tonight Tonight...

I might become a lesbian. We'll see.

I'm seeing.....METRIC!

So.Freakin.Excited.

I even wore a Rock n' Roll outfit in honor of seeing my future girlfriend.

Although I decided to change my shirt when I get home. I need to wear the one that says "Grunge is Dead." Cuz it is. Dead.

See me rock and roll after the jump

Oh, I'm not done! Read on:

I miss you

Dear Buttons Blog,

I miss you. I'm so busy. I'm learning how to make pies (much to my family's dismay) and traveling the world trying out different taco trucks all over the place...

and making gangsta symbols with old college friends who can PUT AWAY Sushi like no one can before midnight showings of movies that we hold hands during and squee just like we're 14 again....

and purposefully purchasing TWO sprinkles cupcakes so that I can enjoy them two days in a row but then leaving the 2nd one at Nikki's  house and crying about it on the plane (okay that wasn't really the reason I cried...)

and having photoshoots with my internet wife  in a forest in the middle of LA and on top of a roof (no you can't see pictures yet, but when you do you will die. And sing Disney songs along with us)

and throwing karaoke parties and singing Bon Jovi like it's no one's business...

and having the best week ever...... and then coming back to THIS and wondering why I went away in the first place...

but then remembering that it was worth it. But still complaining about that big stack of papers. Cuz they suck. Believe me.

So, I've missed you. And I hope to be back soon. With details of my amazing week in La-la land. And more pictures. And perhaps even a photo shoot of me in a turkey costume. Perhaps

XO

I don't love you but I always will...

Are you happy tonight?

You won't be after this



Love The Civil Wars

I feel sad..

I feel sad I don't have time to post on the Buttons Blog these days. I love this blog, I really do. Even though I just post random stuff and pictures of myself in the bathroom. But I'm so busy. Sometimes when I get so busy I just sit around and do nothing. That's not really true in this case because I'm doing a lot, I just can't seem to do anything that NEEDS to be done.

I did buy cupcake underwear yesterday and declare that it's my "signature underwear" so that's something. Even though I only bought one pair... that's gonna get kinda tricky since I only do laundry once every 7 weeks... hmmm....

Here's a bathroom picture to hold you over until I have time to pay more attention to the Buttons Blog. This is an unedited version of a picture of me in my new dress and sweater and gray flower for my hair RIGHT before someone almost  walked in on me because I forgot to lock the door.

This should hold you over until I have time to be a better Buttons blogger. Cuz I know the only reason you come here is to see pictures of me in the bathroom. Seriously

Hugs

Meet my friends: LeeLou

Welcome to another addition of Meet My Friends. Today I'm introducing you to LeeLou aka Julie aka one of the sweetest, most giving people EVER.

I met LeeLou through Lauren and stalked her blog for awhile before finally e-mailing her asking her if she could help Nikki & I with a new design for The Secret Blog. Turns out she was already a FAN of The Secret Blog. We started e-mailing back & forth. I guessed how old she is and the ages of her kids & we had some laughs. AND she made the adorable Buttons Blog look that I have now! Oh- and we've never met in real life. I used to think that was weird. And I think that used to be weird back when the interwebs were only used by 57 year old men like this guy, but I've made too many normal, amazing and totally not chester-the-molester friends via the interwebs that I'm over it. It's not weird.

Here are a few ways you can become LeeLou's friend. Use her free layouts for your blogspot blog. Seriously. So freakin' cute. Buy one of her pre-made layouts which are seriously so much freakin' cuter.
Make your desktop look like mine & user her monthly desktop themes. Here is November's:

Hey adorably cute lil' turkey. I won't eat you. Cuz I'm nice to animals

Or lastly you can order a custom blog from her.

Does this post seem random? Like why out of all my friends in real life that I haven't introduced you to, did I choose to talk about LeeLou today? Ohhhhh there's a reason...

Oh, I'm not done! Read on:

Happy Birthday to my favoritest 30 year old EVER

To my birthday boy,

I know 30 seems old. And, well, that's cause some 30 year olds are old, but not you. To me, you're the 22 year old boy I met over 7 years ago who couldn't do his own laundry and loved the first birthday present I ever gave him- combos & Mr. Wallace, the little purple stuffed cat you still keep in your car. I guess most people consider themselves a full-fledged adult by the time they're 30, and sure, maybe you are technically on paper. And our life insurance policy is probably gonna go up (dang). But I don't that buy that crap about 'settling down' and 'growing-up.' No, I hope you're always spontaneous. I hope you always have so many hobbies that you can't choose your favorite. I hope someday we'll have 1 room to contain all those hobbies. I hope you're always an artist, always exploring, always learning and always creating. It's what I love about you. It's why I traded in firebolts for guitar strings.

So happy birthday to my favoritest 30 year old who acts like a little boy but not so little that it's pervy, EVER.
I love you

And if anyone questions my love, or you acting like a little boy, they should view the following:

Oh, I'm not done! Read on: